Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Home is whenever im with you.

Today i went back in time. The past few days have flown by. Yesterday i was supposed to leave at midnight to head to the states but my flight got canceled. I can remember getting that feeling while in the cab that i was on my way home. Saying goodbye to India twice was harder than it should have been. I kept my window down while i was sitting in the back of the cab with my window down getting the last few breaths of Indian air. Fali, the friend of mine that introduced the gap semester to me, had warned me about the smell of India. You get used to the diesel fumes and constant smell of poo but India has a smell that is so distinct i could recognize it anywhere.
I didnt want this semester to end, but now as i am sitting on a plane just a few hours from being home i feel ready to end this chapter and really go home. For the past three months i have called a lot of places home. I considered the Hanifl Centre at Woodstock school home for the time i spent in India, even when people asked me where i was from i sometimes made the mistake and would say Mussorri. The times i caught myself making this simple mistakes are the times i missed home most. Everyone that finds out i am going home after my three months here always ask me three questions. What do i miss most the most, who do i miss the most, and what am i going to do when i get home.  And when people ask me these questions i always try to make up new answers, not for confusion or amusement, but because i have no idea how to answer these questions. But ill try for kicks and giggles.
First off i miss knowing what im doing. In India everyday was another adventure. Which is great and im not dissing on being adventurous but i miss having stability. I know that once im back to my routine i am going to be craving India again but maybe that will drive me to go back. Also I miss not always having eyes on me. One thing about being a foreigner in India is that everyone is concerned about what your doing. Im so tired of explaining myself. I miss being invisible. I want to walk down a street and not have people watching my every move, or trying to sell me something. 
To answer the second question, i miss people that love me. I meet new people everyday in India. Some have become very good friends now, but i cant say that i know they love me. When your with people that really love you their is a feeling that i took for granted until i was really alone. Never have i felt so trapped inside of my own mind until i was climbing to the top of a mountain. Its so quiet that the only noise you hear is the wind blowing freezing wind against your ears and your feet pushing through the piles of knee deep snow. As alone as i felt i never stopped thinking about the people i love and how they love me. It kept me going always and it still keeps me going.
Finally, when i get home, im going to eat a bowl of Honey Nut Bunches of Oats, Just bunches, mixed with Captain crunch just berries. Ive been thinking about this combination for a long time and every time i think about it my mouth waters and my stomach grumbles. Besides the cereal preference i think im just going to try to find where i fit in back in the states. In India i had a purpose an identity that meant something, i was a student in a program hosted by the most prestigious international school in all of India. I built a greenhouse for a monastery that needed vegetables, i climbed a mountain, i stayed in remote villages for days at a time learning a new culture and trying to think of ways to help improve their living conditions, and i think i did some self improvement as well. Ive become more intelligent, stronger, faster, and much more self sufficient. Im still an awful speller but some things will never change.
 Im going to miss India. Im going to miss the general friendliness of people and the chi twice a day and all the Limbca i can drink, but i think a break from it all will be nice as well. Plus i could go for a big steak right about now. My journey through India has been wonderful and getting used to America will be a fun topic to write about so you can expect more posts coming from now on. Case Closed.

1 comment:

  1. very interesting, i am somewhat going through the same experience down in south india at kodai school, and people are asking the same questions. i hope you had amazing experiences, as it sounds like you have, in your relatively short time in india. i look forward to a post on reverse culture shock! safe travelling