Today i decided to accept the fact that i cant fix everything.
Its been on my mind a lot lately, how i over analyze everything in order to create structure in my mind. The way my mind works everything has a problem, a reason, a consequence, and a defined solution. I come upon a problem, find the reason for the problem, accept the consequence of the reason, and form a defined solution that in my perspective should be bullet proof. So why does it never work out the way i have planned?
I get very frustrated when i cant fix something. Especially when its a problem i know the solution to. For example, when my internet disconnected a couple nights ago and after i ran all the diagnostics and narrowed the problem down to the router i thought i had figured the entire problem out. I had put hard work into finding this solution and all it took was the last step. I could feel my mind go to ease when i finally realized it was a fixable problem, but after i finished that step and restarted my computer, in order to accept the changes made, the problem still remained. What now right? I've done everything right. I had a problem, located the reason for the problem, accepted the consequence of why the internet was not working, and narrowed all the possible solutions for the problem into one defined solution, but i still had no internet. I had no excuse for what was wrong. I had to admit defeat.
Thats a pretty petty example but it can apply to any problem you may have. In my mind the fact that i had to admit defeat and just let the problem settle itself was intolerable. I can fix it, why not right. Why waste time with a problem that can be resolved. What i have come to realize is that all can do for the problems that i cannot fix is wait until it needs me, if it needs me, and then do whatever i can to help. My internet fixed itself randomly and is steady, for now, but maybe next time i will be more tolerant to being patient.